Panda's Diary

So, I've done 4 loads of washing, scrubbed the fridge inside and out, catalogued all our stocks in the food cupboards; rationalised my herbs and spices; and all my baking goodies [incidentally - anyone know *WHY* we have 5 tins of black treacle???]. I also baked two batches of almond cakes (alas, now mostly eaten...).

I wish I didn't have to take tablets that make me if this is how functional I could be...

Well:

- 425mg clozapine
- 600mg lithium carbonate (Priadel)
- 30mg hyocine
-225mg venlafaxine
-1 tablet of desmopressin (alas i forget the dose)
-2 tablets of vitamin b complex (apparently makes clozapine work better - so might zinc, but I have yet to be put on zinc supplements)
-80mg omeprazole

now taken, just hope I wake in time to get to GP this afternoon...

Hi,

Could people take a look at http://tinyurl.com/lavbqa and sign the petition?

Yours,

Panda

Those of you that have been around me regularly have probably noticed the "Thought Disorder" component of my condition. Alas, some people, who should know better, don't take this into account at all.

For instance, in a group conversation, I have trouble following in real time, and also have trouble getting myself heard at the time as others manage to take the floor as it were more easily; and if I don't get my comment/question out then it will suddently pop up half an hour later and I say it - then I get told off for this.

Last night I deliberately forced my way into conversations at they were occuring and the same person had a go at me for this too.

This is making me very fed-up, moderately to severely unstable, and high reactive to even minor issues now, and I'm having to fight the urge to isolate myself completely from real life again.

(ASIDE)

The specific thought sub-disorders I have had assigned to me are:

1. Distractible speech
2. Tangential speech
3. Loose association thoughts
4. Illogical thoughts
5. Perseveration

(END ASIDE)

Well, as many of you might know, I have been under the dietitian for about 9 months; and have actually been successful at losing weight at last.

About a year ago I was just under 22 stones (139.7kg) , where as I am now 17.2 stones (109.5kg).

However, the last month, particularly the last fortnight, has been very stressful and I've been comfort eating a LOT - ~2 big bars of chocolate a day, crisps, extra large portions of 'good' foods.

To my surprise however, I had only put on 0.5kg this month. YEY!

I am trying hard ot to snack or comfort eat now; starting yesterday, where, at the Elm Tree Quiz, I ate none of the food provided (garlic bread, pringles, cheese and silverskin onions); and also, ate 0 packets of crisps - even when I was on diet before the blip I'd eat some of the free stuff and ~5 packets of crisps on a Wednesday night - hence, I am VERY pleased!

Quite how I'll manage at the Go bbq on Sunday I am unsure...

Well today I saw, and handles, my first 2008 minted coin - in this case that of a 1p piece.

This ordinarily would not be excited; however in this case it was the first of the radically new coin backs; shown below.





Yey for new exciting coins! I wish they'd bring back the three penny bit... and get rid of the 5p (formerly a shilling - until 1990).

YEY!

Well we recieved a gas bill that, even accounting for fuel costs increasing, seemed very excessive, and was from an estimated reading. Therefore I decided to phone in an actual reading.

I tried 'meterline' but got too confused so decided to phone the oter line to speak to someone - 3hr30m later they cut me off having not spoken to anyone.

I'll try again tomorrow; wish me luck :)

News filtered through to me about the previously rumoured second set of (Doctor Who) Companion Chronicles released by Big Finish Productions.

The titles will be:
Mother Russia ( details )
Helicon Prime ( details )
Old Soldiers ( details )
The Catalyst ( details )

I'm particularly looking forward to The Catalyst. ( reasons )

And I expect Old Soldiers will be the most exciting story and energised presentation.

Yey! Well of sorts.

I finally complleted my second eCMA for the course S205 i'm currently taking with the OU. The breakdown below will be of little point to most of you, but it's a handy place to store it.


( eCMA 42 breakdown )

I now have a couple of weeks to get ready for the SXR103 course I'm taking in Edinburgh; so the current studies will be on hiatus for a bit.

Annoyingly I couldn't get quite a few of the electronic resources to work on XP-32 bit, XP-64 bit and ubuntu; so had to rely on wikipedia to complete some questions - I'm going to try and get a replacement disc during the week.

Anywya, Whisky and sleep await.

Well, although I haven't really posted much since going onto clozapine [OU work coming thick and fast - way too fast for my liking], I have been having a marvellous time, tinkering with when and how much to take each medication and so on as to minimise the secondary responses, as Dr Martin (the consultant psychiatrist) recommended I do [as long as the total dose each day is adhered to].

I have settled for taking all the clozapine (300mg) at 10pm [except on Wednesdays when I take them at 11pm - after pub quiz :D - we won last week!]; after about 20 minutes to half an hour I usually drop straight off and wake up at earliest 10 hours later, normally 12 hours later; although if I have specific appointments I can set enough alarm calls and clocks that I do awaken on time, usually.

I also find about half-way through my waking hours I need to take a nap of an hour to an hour and a half to keep going; though I'm trying to do this as little as possible.

The clozapine has led to a very obvious improvement; both to me internally, and to others who say I'm back to how I was 6 years ago, when things were only just beginning.

Internally the hallucinations, dellusions and illusions have decreased in both intensity, regularity and in fact aside from audio-hallucinations and deluded thoughts on some issues, gone all together. I had known for some time that I had been having these ignis fatuus; but until I started on the clozapine I had no idea just how much background stimuli were erroneous.

For the most part the suicidal thoughts have gone (only two batches in two months (whereas it used to be 4-5 batches in a week).

The clozapine also seems to be having a good stabilising effect (with the lithium) on stabilising my mood [far less variation in mood with mania under very good control) taking over from the lamotrigine; and is solely taking over from the anti-psychotic medication, olanzapine.

The last week has seen some less positive issues creep back in. I have been slowly getting more and more depressed and last night got too anxious to settle so had no sleep; that will be fixed tonight by taking a zopiclone (7.5mg), as well as the two lots of suicidal ideation.

All in all it has been a great result, but the anti-depressant might need tinkering with.

Dr Martin has also charged me with researching about BAD and Schizoaffective Disorder with my diagnosis being determined myself.